Yoshi's New Island

Nintendo's latest portable console.
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After what you were saying last time about how it's all "remember this from the old games?" rather than trying something new... It's too bad really. I guess it's time to put this franchise to rest. It's turning into the Matrix here... Yoshi's Island sequels? Yeah it's too bad they didn't make any.

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It's too bad too because Yoshi's Story, while not really a direct sequel, didn't have any of that "yo nostalgia yo" tomfoolery. Sigh, I guess Yoshi's Island DS is Matrix Reloaded, Yoshi's New Island regrettably Revelations and Yoshi's Story would be the Animatrix as in different take on it all but meh quite liked it.

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Yoshi's Story was pretty good, nothin' against that one. At least they tried something different. Speaking of it I've gotta pick it up sometime...

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I only ever got to rent Yoshi's Island. I remember enjoying it. Long time ago.

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You should pick it up Warp, I still think it's the best Nintendo-related platformer but that's up for debate. The only platformer I think is also a ten out of ten is SOnic 3 & K.

Yeah, me too Drevin, probably should get it (maybe the cartridge?). I found a great used game store (probably the best in Vic) at Royal Oak. They let you test games on site and if you have games you're lookin' for, they give ya a call when they come in.

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When I can afford it, maybe I'll do a cartridge hunt.

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Wait. I was totally confused. I was thinking of Yoshi's Story, not Yoshi's Island. Outside of emulation, I don't recall ever having the opportunity to play Yoshi's Island. I actually struggle with the graphics of Yoshi's Island. I still would like to own the game, even if just to own a game with that coprocessor.

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Ah well we, or I at least, like that one (Story) alright.

Welp let us continue with this saga, what's the saga?... it's progress log of the dumb.... you can't even care about it!

World 4:

Okay, Okay I'm a patient person but yours truly is truly about to lose it on this game. Fureal.

The first couple are mundane, whatever, but the castle is an awful recreation of the palace in SNES YI that you needed lots of keys and THEN 4-6 is a blatant rip-off of the level in SNES YI that Yoshi is chased by a huge ass Chain Chomp who, at the end of the level, chips his tooth on a hard platform, has a large anime tear in his eye and then falls off screen to impending doom. It's all the same here, but like the Poochie (Poochina?) segment doesn't look as stylized. And Chain Chomp hits the hard block on this one but they only put the tear in his eye, they don't animate a chipped tooth which seems so lazy , like a bad tribute band forgetting to play a note and your just there watching, listening, knowing how the original band plays it on the record and your like 'awwww. Missed it!'.

Damn.

4-7 - Flatbed Ferry Freefall - Okay I swear after only TWO ATTEMPTS where big Bill Bullet... toyboat.. Bullet Bill blasted me free-falling to certain death and I lost two lives, the game handed me an item that gives me almost certain immunity a la the New Super Mario Bros games where they have the power guide or whatever the shit it's called - the Donkey Kong games had them to iirc, which is complete bullshit because DKC are supposed to be hard... but silly ignorant me I picked up the item which was just floating there thinking it was some cool power-up. Silly me, if they introduced a new power-up there'd be a message box, tutorial or some kind horsecrap hand-holding. Fuckin' eh Nintendo, I want to be challenged. Do they have this crapola in any Zelda games? I sure hope not.

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AC Dasher wrote:I found a great used game store (probably the best in Vic) at Royal Oak. They let you test games on site and if you have games you're lookin' for, they give ya a call when they come in.
Haha I think I mentioned this one off-hand to you a while back. Sounds like a cool joint, we should all go in there and have a look.

Yeah Nintendo has been on a recent kick of introducing the 'help me finish this level by making it no challenge at all' items in everything. That's fine, different strokes, but I'd like to turn them off because they typically make them really obnoxious. In MM3D, the Sheikah Stone is essentially that - but they are totally optional and it's only in one spot. Easy to use if you need it, easier to ignore.

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World 5
Ugh

BORED

Snow levels. Ski lifts like in the old games blah blah blah yada yada.

It's sad the only gyro-controlled vehicle bit Ive liked so far is the Bobsled Yoshi ("on the track! on the track! on the track! Eet's bobsled tiiime!") bit and it's the briefest game I swear.

Yawn

Bed time

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World 6

I should say I entered World 6 with over a hundred lives and finished the game with 121; yiiiikes Doc... think that's gonna be....... HOLY FUCKING SHIT 40,000 it's a fire Lakitu!!!!

Welp

This was actually less boring than the last few worlds all told. I guess I'd put it second after World 2, but man the final level is such a letdown. It starts off okay and then the same old derivative drivel; side scrolling through a corridor of the castle where Kamek appears and reappears whilst shooting spells at us that the Dark Arts teacher taught him. The thing is the corridor is less claustrophobic than in the SNES game but that may sound like a good thing, it certainly ain't - it's way to easy to counter Kamek, I already had eggs so I just made sure he got no spell off at all! Whurr's the challenge?

Then - and I'd add a spoiler here 'cept that no one cares and everyone knows - the sequence ends in Baby Bowser's room and he gets pissed at Kamek and stomps him into a flat pancake fit for a Paper Mario title, then has a temper tantrum (slightly different than the last time) and then.... here we go... he grows to gargantuan size and the whole boss battle happens with him looming over us, him in the background and us in the foreground. This time he isn't creeping up on us over and over, and the terrain is much more sure-footed so he doesn't pose as much of a threat. He does lob some fireballs at us a la Bowser in Super Mario World but like that game they are easily avoided. Then simply - and I mean simply - just toss three huge ass eggs his way and he's done.

AND WHAT A TWEEST King Bowser, for no particular reason warps (not Afros) through time just to come kick Yoshi's ass. I guess it was what people of the Mushroom Kingdom were clamoring for. I wonder if King Bowser made three million a minute like Mayweather, ah well, the fight is long winded just like the May v. Pac one but this one, if my making Yoshi Pacquiao is correct, Pac Man takes it this time. , The King Bowser fight is actually alright, I thought on surface level 'eh this fight looks boring like the lesser good Bowser fights' but it had some merit. Then you fight the King once more ala Baby Bowser, so it's a bit much.

Credits roll like stunted sea turtles and then Mr. Should-Have-Lost-His-Job Stork FINALLY delivers the little babies to their Little Diaper School Little Dipper School... ahem, erm, excuse me, no school at all; It's a house.

All I have to say is despite my seemingly all hateful commentary, I did actually have fun albeit a bit limited fun sometimes with this piece. That is surely a true testament to the flawless game mechanics that made the SNES Yoshi's Island such a classic and what keeps these sequel games afloat, if only barely. I'm glad they didn't recreate Touch Fuzzy Get Dizzy or fighting that one baddie from inside his own stomach... but they bloody done gone copied everything else, Major.

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Should've just called it Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island: Remastered 3D and then just END IT.

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Yeah but then I'd have to score it even less because the original is just so exceptional and I am disapoint after this one. Though I still liked it somewhat - as I said the mechanics of the jump physics and the targeting system is all YI classic - I'm glad I didn't pay forty bones for it. So thanks dude.

Now..... do I play Yoshi's Island DS?!

NAW well not yet, at least; gonna play some great games first.

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lmao

I think I enjoyed reading that review more than I would playing the game

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AC Dasher wrote:Now..... do I play Yoshi's Island DS?!
I think you've had enough torture for one day.


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